


Not Soulmates

by MiyuTanemura



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-04-16 13:05:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4626327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiyuTanemura/pseuds/MiyuTanemura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What can you do when the person you love isn’t your soulmate?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know what came over me but I was looking at a list of [prompts](http://pgnbri.tumblr.com/post/85246742399/krumcake-honestly-im-really-only-interested) and the following one apparently caught my attention:  
>  _I care about people who fall in love with someone who isn’t their soulmate and aren’t willing to leave._  
>  And then, this is the result…

**Not soulmates**

Soulmates.

There were soulmates everywhere. Not only was a person bombarded by them through the media and nearly any place one looked at but even in school they had a subject on the history of soulmates and their importance.

Ryuu wasn’t too happy about soulmates.

For one, he didn’t have one of the marks that seemed to be etched on everyone’s body. And then, he had fallen for someone. And that person wasn’t like him, no, that person had the mark of their soulmate quite clearly etched on their left shoulder.

Ryuu grumbled and stared blankly at the pages of the book he was holding. He couldn’t make sense of the words he was seeing. He just felt like closing his eyes, laying down the book and sleeping. His body was demanding it of him. Volleyball practice was at its most grueling, they needed to get better to face against the other opponents. It was hard work.

But through it all, the team was coming together. Despite the fact that sometimes the tension was so high you could almost cut it with a knife, Ryuu knew that he was counted on to throw in some silliness, he and his best friend, Noya. Their antics going after Kiyoko were always a much needed stress relief and everybody ended up with big smiles plastered on their faces. Except Tsukishima, he was still a sourpuss but one or two times Ryuu had already caught the small smile exchanged with Yamaguchi. It made Ryuu wonder if there was something more going on there, no-one had said anything but there were high chances of them being soulmates. It was actually an interesting fact, there were many pairs of soulmates that had grown in the midst of their team.

Yes, mostly everyone of the team. Except Tanaka, yeah, he was alone in this... No-one knew of his secret, only Noya – though he thought that Daisuke and Suga may have some suspicion. It was a hard secret to have. Especially when he had fallen in love anyway.

Why did he have to go and just fall for someone who already had a mark? There was no way it could be corresponded on, right?

But Ryuu never acted on it. He couldn’t – and wouldn’t – dare to risk their friendship like that just because of a silly infatuation. Besides, Noya had already shown him the soulmark, the name written on it someone they both knew. In the end, how could Tanaka ever compare to Asahi-san? It seemed as if they were perfect for each other, balancing each other. Yin and yang. They just _were_ it. And it showed on the outside. When they were out people would take a look at them and murmur how they had to be soulmates. And they weren’t wrong.

Just…

Tanaka couldn’t help but curse the unfairness of it all.

And why hadn’t the infatuation disappeared already? It had been going for such a long time already!

Still, the friendship mattered the most. And he always done his best to not let the crush affect them.

Except…

Noya-san was unpredictable and unexpected.

So Ryuu was totally blindsided when one day they were heading home, the air around them had become much more somber than usual.

At first Noya looked pensive, like something was weighing on his mind.

Of course that Tanaka, as best friend, had to say something.

“So, Noya-san, what are you thinking about? You haven’t said a word since we left practice and Kiyoko threw us her new glare of doom.”

He tried to go for humorous but he could see that it didn’t have much of an effect as Nishinoya glanced briefly at him and looked back down, not replying.

This had Ryuu stopping, a frown etched across his face. He crossed his arms and stared at Nishinoya who had stopped a couple of steps ahead. “Okay, out with it. What’s the matter?”

Nishinoya shook his head and remained still, his head lowered and posture stiff. It was an unusual, if not nearly out of character, thing for the libero who didn’t let himself go so down. Even to Ryuu he tended to present a more low-key version of himself when he was going through a rougher bit.

‘What the hell is going on?’ he wondered.

“Ryuu…” Noya said in a low voice, running a hand through his hair as he usually did when he was agitated. “Let’s not talk about it, okay?” he glanced at Tanaka over his shoulder before looking forward again, with a sigh.

“Huh, okay.” Tanaka replied. “If you say so.”

And so they resumed their walk home.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, as he was lying in bed and looking at the ceiling, the thought of Nishinoya wouldn’t leave his mind.

He just didn’t know how to help him.

With a grumble he ran his hands through his face and turned to his side. He needed to get some sleep.

 

* * *

 

On the next day Nishinoya was behaving as his usual hyped self. Tanaka was relieved but he knew that whatever had been in the other’s mind hadn’t cleared up yet. He knew that he just had to find a way to make the other talk.

He went to the corner to drink some water as the team was gathered and talking. In this small break everyone was relaxed, despite the games that were coming their way.

He saw Nishinoya talk to the team, his voice loud, posture open and confident and hands moving excitedly to enhance whatever he was saying. And then Azumane-san said something and Nishinoya turned to him and seemed to glow, the same way as a sunflower blooms turning to the sun.

Tanaka frowned at his water bottle. He ran his towel through his face and let out a sigh. Yes, he had been right about not doing anything. He couldn’t get in the way of what destiny had decided. It just wasn’t _done_. And, in the end, he did want Noya to be happy.

So Tanaka strengthened his resolve and returned to the team, laughing at the antics of Kageyama and Hinata who were arguing over something that had Suga laughing and Daishi starting to rub at his forehead.

The coach called them and so the break was over and it was time to go back to work.


	2. Chapter 2

“And then, _wham_ , he struck the ball and it nearly hit Yachi - it came, like, five centimeters from her face! She was terrified and the glare Shoyo received! Haha-!” Nishinoya was mimicking the expressions, attempting to reproduce the glare and only managing to make funny faces.

“Hahaha! I can’t believe it!” Tanaka could barely answer, he was laughing so much. “I don’t understand how that happened! And why did I have to go away at right that moment- it must have been priceless!” they were the last ones at the gym and were finishing the clean-up and storing the last bits of the equipment.

“Oh, but you didn’t see Kageyama! He was about to bite Shouyo’s head off.” Nishinoya’s expression became more serious as he tried to impersonate Kageyama. “’You wasted a perfectly good toss to goof around!’ to which Shouyo replied “I didn’t! I was just trying to see if-‘ but by then Kageyama had his hand on top of his head and was going all ‘I’m so going to kill you’ and then Suga-san got in the way and only then did things calm a bit.”

“Damn, I should have been there.” Tanaka shook his head, a huge grin on his lips.

“Don’t worry. There’s going to be a next time. And another… those two are always bickering like an old married couple.” Noya answered but both the happiness and volume of his voice were bleeding out until his words were only a whisper.

“Okay, Noya-san. Out with it. And today it is going to come out.” Tanaka said, his serious expression turning grave.

“It’s nothing. I was just thinking that… the soulmates and… everything.” He shrugged.

“Everything and I didn’t understand a thing.” Tanaka shot back.

Nishinoya threw him an annoyed look, and Tanaka knew that he was trying to find a way out of this conversation. But it was tough luck because he wouldn’t let him go away.

“Come on! It can’t be that bad!” he finally exclaimed.

“But it is, Ryuu!” Noya couldn’t look him in the eye and started biting his lower lip, the hand that was resting on the railing of the trolley was twitching. “It is and very wrong.”

“What! Tell me, so that I can help you!” Tanaka placed his hands on the libero’s shoulders and gave a small shake, making the other look up at him. The eyes that looked back at him reflected his confusion and showed a lot of turmoil.

“You can’t.” Nishinoya said resolutely.

“I can listen to you, at least. You know that it helps!” The taller boy was starting to get beyond worried.

“No… you…” Nishinoya shook his head, the shorter hairs of his bangs falling over his face, hiding his expression.

The denial hurt Tanaka more than it should, he felt an ache deep inside but did his best to hide it. But how could he attempt to behave normally if his best friend was shutting himself off? It didn’t feel good to be pushed away. Nishinoya, his best friend to whom he didn’t have secrets – well, except one big secret but that was on purpose because he wanted to preserve their friendship, damnit!

“Fine. Let’s just finish this and go home, okay?” he asked tiredly.

At Nishinoya’s acquiescence they quickly took care of things and they left the gym, going to the locker room and changing to their uniforms.

The walk home was filled with an awkward silence – a first.

And their goodbyes were also awkward, soft words easily brushed off by the wind.

Tanaka didn’t like what was happening.

 

* * *

 

As he lay in bed once again, the shadows that the streetlight painted on the room’s walls and ceiling being the only thing he could focus on, Tanaka let out a loud exhale and sat up on his bed. He turned and gave a couple of punches on the pillow and lay back again.

He couldn’t sleep.

The thought of Nishinoya pushing him away didn’t leave his mind.

And since when did they behave like this? They were acting strange and before long the others were going to catch up.

What could Noya mean with Kageyama and Hinata? They were still bickering, like they had been since the beginning. The finding of the soulmark hadn’t changed anything.

‘What did he mean?’

Slowly, his whirling thoughts slowed as he passed the day in review. And then the tiredness of the long day overwhelmed him and before long he was falling asleep.

He couldn’t but embrace the darkness instead of the conflicting thoughts.

 

* * *

 

What Tanaka had feared happened.

Not only was Nishinoya closing off from him but the others also started to notice.

And the questions came.

“Tanaka, is everything alright with you and Nishinoya?” Suga asked one day, having pulled him apart. The others were busy with a receiving drill and Noya was shining, as per usual.

Tanaka plastered a smile on his face and gave a noncommittal shrug.

“Sure, why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know… it’s a bit of a feeling. And Kiyoko made me notice that you’d changed. You haven’t been doing your goofing around her as of late…” Suga-san commented as he looked seriously at Tanaka.

‘Ah! Even Kiyoko-san noticed? Now I’m in trouble…’ Tanaka’s breath caught in his throat.

“Ahh, nothing’s wrong. I’ve been busy with my sis and the teachers have been giving a lot of homework, you know?”

The excuse didn’t seem to overly convince Suga but he nodded and that left Ryuu to go have his turn receiving. By the corner of his eye he could see that Suga and Daichi were talking. He just hoped it wasn’t about him. And then all his thoughts were focused in the practice.

 

* * *

 

And then he saw Nishinoya start spending more and more time with Asahi-san.

It wasn’t uncommon to see Noya go tease their ace – or, in some cases, scare him with his fiery attitude – but usually Noya only went to talk with him during practice or events and situations related to volleyball. Now, it seemed like every time Tanaka caught Noya in the halls, he was with Asahi. During lunch breaks and even heading to practice, Nishinoya would be with the older youth. Even on the locker room, Noya had stopped using the locker next to his and gone to Asahi’s. The first time that it happened Ryuu had frozen solid for a number of seconds before forcing himself to change into his training clothing. And with that, Tanaka was sure that everyone knew that things weren’t right between him and Noya. No-one said anything about that matter to Ryuu so he didn’t mention anything back.

 

* * *

 

But, there was still one thing; at school he could pretend that everything was fine (which wasn’t) but when alone in his bedroom, his façade crumbled and he couldn’t hide how much it hurt. Even if he did his best, ground his teeth together so as not to let any sound escape and tried to breathe while his mind and heart warred, there would always be something escaping. And Tanaka would curl under the covers and try to empty his mind. Sadly, his mind would instantly fill with images and conversations with his friend in a whirlwind that attempted to destroy his whole being.

 Anxiety ran through his veins and he closed his eyes tighter, hands grasping at the sheets so hard that his knuckles went white.

He was failing at this, he knew it for sure, especially because he knew that he was falling to pieces.

And through it all, Noya was inaccessible.

He had lost his best friend and he didn’t know why or how. Every time Tanaka would try to approach the libero, a strange coldness would fall over Noya’s eyes and he would brush him off quickly. He turned his back and would hurry towards the cluster of people nearby or to Asahi-san’s side. And Tanaka would stay rooted to the spot, seeing Noya murmur whichever secret to the ace.

In the end, it just couldn’t continue like this!

Tanaka wouldn’t allow it. Everything in his world was resenting from this confusion created by his best friend, the other teammates were starting to get concerned about him, he was worrying his sister and, he wasn’t himself. He didn’t feel well in the skin of this subdued persona. So he had to do something.

One day Tanaka managed to corner Nishinoya before practice and ended up nearly dragging his friend to some place where they could talk.

‘It’s now or never.’ He thought to himself as he stared at Noya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently the angst-fest continues. Why can’t they just be happy? And, damn, Nishinoya isn’t making things easy for Tanaka. Or me!  
> But I’ll do my best to make they get their happy ending. They deserve it!  
> This is still unbetaed and feedback’s awesome to feed the Muse. ^^


	3. Chapter 3

“We need to talk.” Tanaka said seriously.

“Huh, about what?” Nishinoya replied, doing his best not to look at Tanaka.

It was hard.

Specially because what he hadn’t wanted to happen – at least so soon – was happening.

“You know what. You’ve been pushing me away. An-” The words seemed to become choked on Tanaka’s throat. He stopped, cleared his throat and continued. “And you’ve been pushing me away.” He said in an off tone of voice.

“I didn’t push you away.” Noya mumbled, looking down at his feet before raking a hand through his hair. But deep down, he knew the truth. ‘I’m such a liar.’

When Noya ventured to glance up, there was a terribly strange expression etched on Tanaka’s face. He didn’t like it one bit.

It admitted defeat.

It gave a slump into Tanaka’s shoulders.

He was no longer looking at Noya.

It was worrying.

Because, in truth, Nishinoya had been pushing Tanaka away. He had.

Because he was a coward.

Because he didn’t know what to do.

It was better to conform to the norm, no?

“Oh.” Tanaka made a small noise of assent and started to turn around. He’d been defeated. “Well, then. I won’t bother you anymore.”

A sudden chill crept up Nishinoya’s spine. He’d done it. Put down the impossible thing that had been at their fingertips.

He had crushed Tanaka.

So, why did he feel so bad?

“Wait!” he extended his hand, just missing the other’s shirt and a terrible awareness came over him.

Was he prepared to do this?

From within his depths, came a resounding ‘No I can’t!’

Tanaka turned back around to face him again.

 

* * *

 

“What?” The word barely escaped Ryuu’s unmoving lips.

He couldn’t look at Nishinoya. His once best friend had just burned a bridge…

Tanaka had received a blow. The knockout blow.

It seemed impossible to stand again, after it.

“I… I’m sorry.” Nishinoya mumbled, one hand reaching up to grasp at Tanaka’s wrist. “I lied.”

“What?”

“I said that I haven’t been pushing you away. But I did.” He said earnestly.

“Huh. Yeah.” Ryuu could only agree.

“But… okay,” Noya made an impatient noise. “Okay. I’ve been scared, alright?” the words nearly exploded out of Nishinoya.

“Huh…” Tanaka stood without reaction.

Nishinoya let god of his wrist and started pacing back and forth.

“I’ve been scared because it’s all wrong. There’s one thing I’m feeling and another thing altogether that I’m supposed to feel but I don’t want that.” He was gesticulating widely. “But I didn’t know what to do. So decided to try to shut down the different part and took counsel in Asahi-san. He helped me.”

“What do you mean?” Tanaka was confused. He scratched his head.

“Ryuu.” Noya looked seriously at him. “I _like you_.”

Tanaka’s breath caught in his throat.

He was corresponded after all.

“But there’s the whole soulmate thing.” Noya took a small breath. “I tried to conform to the so called rules but Asahi-san helped me. He made me realize that we aren’t just what the mark tells us.”

“But he’s your soulmate.” Tanaka said.

“Yes. But…” Noya seemed to be struggling with his words. “I like you. I also like Asahi but the feelings are actually quite different. To him it’s a platonic kind of thing.”

“And me?” Tanaka’s mouth tilted slightly upwards.

“You…” Nishinoya walked to Tanaka, curling both of his hands over one of Tanaka’s. “To you it’s a strange, mushy, embarrassing kind of feeling.” As the words left his mouth, Nishinoya’s cheeks were slightly pink.

Tanaka removed his hand from its confinement and threw his arms around Noya’s smaller frame.

“I’m glad.” He said to the spiky hair. “Because I also have those embarrassing feelings towards you.”

“Hey, lemme breathe!” Noya mock-gasped. Hitting Tanaka’s side.

Tanaka laughed and let go, deciding to cup the other’s cheeks instead.

“I love you too. Though that’s not a surprise.” He grinned.

“Hey, Ryuu. We’re not going to go all weird, are we?”

“Weirder than we are? Nah. We’ve been weird because we were separated. Now we can go back to normal.” Relief was washing down Ryuu’s being, his heart feeling much lighter than it had been in a long time.

Because their feelings were out in the open.

Their feelings had been exposed and corresponded and, despite everything, in this team they wouldn’t be sticking out like a sore thumb given all the weirdos.

“Ah, shit. Look at the time!” Noya said suddenly.

Tanaka looked at the time and froze.

They were late for practice.

“Ahhh! Daichi’s going to kill us!” they yelled in unison before starting to run towards the gym.

 

* * *

 

“Whew. I’m so happy that we survived this practice.” Tanaka said as he laid on the floor in the changing room. “We almost diiiieeeeed.”

“Hahaha. Daichi was a bit pissed off when we arrived so late. Good thing that Suga managed to calm him. And Coach was also quite cool.” Noya was sitting alongside him, legs stretched out before him and his weight being held on his hands. “Ah, but today was quite fun.”

“Know what you mean.” Tanaka sat up. “This time I didn’t feel like there was something dragging me down.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Don’t mention it. But we ended up having to clean things up as a punishment. Hey. Wanna come over tonight?” Tanaka said suddenly. “Saeko was saying something the other day about not seeing you for a long time. And we could try to do the homework together too.”

Noya snorted.

“I don’t know if we can handle the homework alone…” Noya said before poking his tongue. “But I would like to come around. Let me call my parents, they were also commenting about the lack of our sleepovers. Oh, do you have the game Enoshita was talking about? He was saying something about it being very scary.”

“Hm, I’m not sure. But we can check.” Tanaka stood and extended one hand to Noya. “Come on. I’m getting hungry.”

“Took you long enough.” Noya winked.

“Tche.”

They finished things up and closed everything. Night had settled and a cold wind was blowing.

The pair huddled close as they walked, holding hands.

 

* * *

 

When they decided to tell the team that they were dating there was a surprised reaction by their friends and teammates. They were worried yet happy for the couple.

There was a lot of teasing but everyone was pretty supportive.

And so they went on.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guess who woke up with this thing in her head? You guessed it! Me!  
> It actually ended up playing differently from what I’d planned but, whew, this almost went the angsty and unhappy way! I’m so sorry that this end was so weak, though. OTL  
> But, it’s the end…  
> Many apologies if it was a letdown. OTL  
> Do you have any thoughts on it? Feedback’s always pretty awesome.  
> And the story’s still unbetaed. ^^’

**Author's Note:**

> Argh, these two sillies!! What can we do?? And why did the first fic I write for them has to be so angsty?  
> Anyway, I’m posting this here so that I can be motivated to write the rest of this fic! It’s coming quite a bit angsty but _I will_ find a way for it to end happily. I love these dorks way too much for it to happen otherwise. In the meanwhile, all my apologies about any OoC-ness that might have slipped… and for the crappy title. OTL  
>  Well, hope that you liked things so far. This story’s unbetaed.  
> Feedback’s always awesome. ^^


End file.
